- Marriage changes passion; suddenly you’re in bed with a relative.
- Sign in a Chinese Pet Store: “Buy one dog, get one flea.”
- I have my own little world. But it’s OK, they know me here.
- Money can’t buy happiness, but it sure makes misery easier to live with.
- If flying is so safe, why do they call the airport the terminal?
- I don’t approve of political jokes. I’ve seen too many of them get elected.
- The most precious thing we have is life. Yet it has absolutely no trade-in value.
- I love being married. It’s so great to find that one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life.
- Shopping tip: You can get shoes for a couple of bucks at the bowling alley.
- I am a nobody, and nobody is perfect; therefore I am perfect.
- Isn’t having a smoking section in a restaurant like having a peeing section in a swimming pool?
