- Conscience is what hurts when everything else feels good.
- Talk is cheap because supply exceeds the demand.
- Love is grand; divorce is a hundred grand.
- Even if you are on the right track, you’ll get run over if you just sit there.
- Politicians and diapers have one thing in common. They both should be changed regularly and for the same reason.
- It’s easier to fight for ones’ principles than to live up to them.
- I don’t mind going anywhere as long as it’s an interesting path.
- Anything free is worth what you pay for it.
- It hurts to be on the cutting edge.
- If it ain’t broke, fix it till it is.
- I don’t get even, I get older.
- In just two days, tomorrow will be yesterday.
- Dijon vu – the same mustard as before.
- I am a nutritional overachiever.
- My inferiority complex is not as good as yours.
- I am having an out of money experience.
- I am in shape. round is a shape.
- Practice safe eating – always use condiments.
- A day without sunshine is like night.
- If marriage were outlawed, only outlaws would have in-laws.
- Life is an endless struggle full of frustrations and challenges, but eventually you find a hair stylist you like.
- The real art of conversation is not only to say the right thing at the right time, but also to leave unsaid the wrong thing at the tempting moment.
- Time may be a great healer, but it’s also a lousy beautician.
- Brain cells come and brain cells go, but fat cells live forever.
- You don’t stop laughing because you grow old, you grow old because you stopped laughing.
