- If you are chocking on an ice cube, simply pour a cup of boiling water down your throat. Presto! The blockage will instantly remove itself.
- Avoid cutting yourself when slicing vegetables by getting someone else to hold the vegetables while you chop.
- Avoid arguments about the toilet seat – Use the sink.
- For high blood-pressure sufferers, simply cut yourself and bleed for a few minutes, thus reducing the pressure on your veins. Remember to use a timer.
- A mouse trap on top of your alarm clock will prevent you from rolling over and going back to sleep after you hit the snooze button.
- If you have a bad cough, take a large dose of Laxatives. Then you’ll be afraid to cough.
- You only need 2 tools in life – WD-40 and Duct tape. If it doesn’t move and it should, use the WD-40. If it shouldn’t move and it does, use the duct tape.
- Remember: Everyone seems normal until you get to know them.
- If you can’t fix it with a hammer, you’ve go an electrical problem.
Daily thought: Some people are like Slinkies – Not really good for anything, but they bring smile to your face when pushed down the stairs.