- A king size waterbed holds enough water to fill a 2000 square foot house 4 inches deep.
- If you spray hair spray on dust bunnies and run over them with roller blades, they can ignite.
- A 3 year old child’s voice is louder than 200 adults in a crowded restaurant.
- If you hook a dog leash over a ceiling fan, the motor is not strong enough to rotate a 42 pound boy wearing Batman underwear and a Superman cape.
- If you hook a dog leash over a ceiling fan and tie it to a paint can, it does spread paint on all four walls of a 20×20 room.
- You should not throw baseballs up when the ceiling fan is on.
- When using a ceiling fan as a bat, you have to throw the ball up a few times before you get a hit.
- A ceiling fan can hit a baseball a long way.
- The glass in windows (including double pane windows) doesn’t stop a baseball hit by a ceiling fan.
- When you hear the toilet flush along with the words "uh oh," it’s already too late.
- Brake fluid mixed with Clorox makes smoke (and lots of it).
- A six-year old can start a fire with a flint rock even though a 36 year old man says they can only do it in the movies.
- Certain Lego blocks will pass through the digestive tract of a 4 year old.
- Play-Doh and microwave should not be used in the same sentence.
- Super glue is forever.
- No matter how much Jell-O you put in a swimming pool, you still can’t walk on water.
- Pool filters do not like Jell-O.
- VCRs do not eject sandwiches, even though TV commercials show they do.
- Garbage bags do not make good parachutes.
- Marbles in gas tanks make lots of noise when driving.
- You probably don’t want to know what that smell is.
- Always look in the oven before you turn it on.
- Plastic toys do not like ovens.
- The fire department in my town has a 5 minute response time.
- The spin cycle on the washing machine does not make earthworms dizzy.
- The spin cycle on the washing machine does make cats dizzy, however.
- Cats throw up twice their body weight when dizzy.
- 60% of men who read this will try mixing the Clorox and brake fluid.
