- Why is it that people say they ‘slept like a baby’ when babies wake up every two hours?
- If a deaf person has to go to court, is it still called a hearing?
- Why do we press harder on a remote control when we know the batteries are flat?
- Why do banks charge a fee on ‘insufficient funds’ when they know there is not enough?
- Why does someone believe you when you say there are four billion stars, but check when you say the paint is wet?
- Why do they use sterilized needles for death by lethal injection?
- Why doesn’t Tarzan have a beard?
- Why does Superman stop bullets with his chest, but ducks when you throw a revolver at him?
- Why do Kamikaze pilots wear helmets?
- Whose idea was it to put an ‘S’ in the word ‘lisp’?
- What is the speed of darkness?
- Are there specially reserved parking spaces for ‘normal’ people at the Special Olympics?
- If the temperature is zero outside today and it’s going to be twice as cold tomorrow, how cold will it be?
- If it’s true that we are here to help others, what are the others doing here?
- Do married people live longer than single ones or does it only seem longer?
- Do you cry under water?
- How is it that we put man on the moon before we figured out it would be a good idea to put wheels on luggage?
- Why do people pay to go up tall buildings and then put money in binoculars to look at things on the ground?
- Did you ever stop and wonder……
- Who was the first person to look at a cow and say, ‘I think I’ll squeeze these pink dangly things here, and drink whatever comes out?’
- Why do toasters always have a setting so high that could burn the toast to a horrible crisp, which no decent human being would eat?
- Why is there a light in the fridge and not in the freezer?
- Why do people point to their wrist when asking for the time, but don’t point to their bum when they ask where the bathroom is?
- Why does your Obstetrician, Gynecologist leave the room when you get undressed if they are going to look up there anyway ?
- Why does Goofy stand erect while Pluto remains on all fours? They’re both dogs !
- Can blind people see their dreams? Do they dream ??
- If quizzes are quizzical, what are tests? (This one kills me !!!!)
- If corn oil is made from corn, and vegetable oil is made from vegetables, then what is baby oil made from ?
- If electricity comes from electrons, does morality come from morons ?
- Why do the Alphabet song and Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star have the same tune?
- Stop singing and read on . . . . . . .. . . .
- Do illiterate people get the full effect of Alphabet Soup?
- Did you ever notice that when you blow in a dog’s face, he gets mad at you, but when you take him on a car ride, he sticks his head out the window?
