- Quarters are like gold.
- Be creative in the dining hall.
- Flipflops become as important as soap, shampoo, etc.
- You will never find so many excuses for a bucket.
- Asleep by 2:30 am is an early night.
- New additions to the food groups: Mountain Dew, Doritos, Ben & Jerry’s, Ho-Hos and Oreos
- Make sure your alarm clock has back-up batteries.
- Duct tape heals all wounds. (If not, scotch or masking tape will suffice for awhile.)
- Showers become less important.
- Sleep becomes more important.
- Two meals a day are standard. One for some!
- Recycling becomes synonymous with laundry (”Oh, my jeans can last until Christmas…there’s only a *little* bit of mud on them…”).
- You can never make too many meals in a hot pot (or pizelle maker).
- 10 minutes is more than enough time to get ready for your first class (not that this is anything really new).
- Going to the mailbox was never an ego booster/breaker before.
- It takes more than one person to carry your laundry, books, trash, or alcohol.
- If the lecture hall is big enough, get someone else’s notes.
- You begin to nap again (also not new).
- Your bill in the bookstore will almost equal tuition.
- Isn’t it amazing that the book your professor wrote is always required for his class?
- Labs used to be fun.
- T.A. used to stand for teaching assistant, now, for terribly articulated.
- Squirt guns equal stress relief.
- E-mail becomes your second language.
- Frat parties are exactly like they are in the movies.
- Ten-page papers used to sound impossible, now they’re a Godsend.
- You never realized so many people are smarter than you.
- You never realized so many people are dumber than you.
- Professors are like celebrities: you see them, but they never see you.
- Western Europe could be wiped out by a horrible plague and you’d never know, but you could recite last week’s episode of “Friends” verbatim.
- See every movie under $3 that your campus provides; it’s actually proportional to the amount of money you have.
- Road trip whenever possible.
- Pick up all new lingo.
- Bum rides, money, notes and snacks as much as you can get them.
- Don’t burn bridges, especially if he’s good in Biology.
- Plain pasta never constituted a complete meal before.
- The health service attendants are there because they couldn’t make it in a real hospital, never ever forget that.
- Forget putting the toilet seat down,you just pray that they flush.
- Frisbee becomes a contact sport.
- Care packages rank up there with birthdays.
- College girls are the same as high school girls, just with more freedom…and no curfew.
- It was never this bad when you got sick.
- Pop a vitamin and breakfast is covered.
- Learn to love your roommate, especially when he leaves you the room.
- You always thought that worshipping the porcelain god was just an expression…it’s not!
- You’ll learn more about male genetalia than you ever thought necessary, guys talk more about that than women and sex put together.
- Beware the freshman 15, or in some cases, the freshman cup size.
- Even though the beds are long, they are also extra narrow.
- Things that were a huge deal in high school are now commonplace.
- You never thought you would share so much about yourself with people you have known for such a short time.
- Computer games go in and out faster than the latest fashions.
- Any game can be made into a drinking game.
- Disney movies are more than just classics.
- Find one thing you like in the dining hall and go with it.
- You will hear more stupid nicknames than you ever thought possible.
- Phone calls almost never happen and when they do, you just don’t get the messages.
- Cereal makes a meal any time of day.
- Keep your high school term papers; nowadays, everything is recycled.
- ATMs are the devil’s advocate.
- Beware the boy in the Care Bear toga.
- You almost forget how to drive.
- You’ll drink anything if it’s free..
- People still cheat, it’s just more technologically advanced.
- You get really good with excuses for skipping class.
- The girl you’re going to marry may live right next door, so keep your stereo down.
- Ordering food at 1 am is a common occurrence.
- You never realized how cool you can be.
- TV becomes a bigger time sucker than ever before.
- You realize how great your hell summer job was once you get to work study.
- Keys have never been so important, yet you seem to lose them more than ever before.
- You meet the type of people you only thought existed in the movies.
- You learn to sleep with light, noise, extreme temps, and roommates snoring.
- You don’t have to cover your textbooks anymore.
- You become a juggler with the balance between school, friends, girls, activities, work, parties…
- You live for chicken finger day at the cafeteria.
- People that were geeks in high school seem okay now.
- You begin to realize that college is about the ideal lifestyle, except for those pesky classes.
- You get good at rationalizing on whether to do homework or not (usually not).
- Procrastination becomes an art.
- Jeans may be worn as many times as the wearer desires (for example, see # 12).
- The only reason you ever dress up is when everything else is dirty.
- Your parents start to tell you stories about their college days.
- With all the wealth of knowledge around you, you start to feel like you’re on intellectual welfare.
- Going to the mini-mart is a major treat.
- Amount of alcohol consumed is directly proportional to grade point average.
- You have two kinds of shoes: everyday shoes and party shoes.
- Classes: the later the better.
- The cute girls actually talk to you now.
- Care packages make it all worthwhile.
- The longer you’re there, the less you talk about home.
- Always wear your safety goggles, they’re not kidding.
- You just don’t learn last names.
- Your teachers just went from Mr. and Mrs. to Prof.
- That calculator Tetris and Duck Hunt come into play even more than in high school Physics class.
- Card games never lasted for hours before.
- Vacuuming happens every semester, if you get around to it.
- Boys will dance in college.
- People who never talked to you in high school are now your best friends when you come home.
- You are never alone.
- You find out what beer sludge is.
- It’s amazing how late you can stay up doing absolutely nothing, yet falling asleep in class or in the library takes an average of two seconds.
- You spend a ridiculous amount of time pondering the mystery of whether the cafeteria Lucky Charms are the real thing.
- People magazine is your deep philosophical reading material.
- You begin to subdivide your room into sections such as den, library, etc. to make it sound like a house.
- All you have to do to make new friends is have mom send up some cookies.
- You never realized how quiet your house was.
- Dishes aren’t dirty enough to wash until they have bugs and/or mold in them.
- Printers only break down when you desperately need them.
- You get along so much better with your family now that you never see any of them.
- Your life will never be the same again.
