Growing old is mandatory; growing up is optional… Forget the health food. I need all the preservatives I can get. When you fall down, you wonder what else you can…

The fattest knight at King Arthur’s round table was Sir Cumference. He acquired his size from too much pi. I thought I saw an eye doctor on an Alaskan island,…

When you get to the bottom of a stairway, your tummy takes one more step. You go to the zoo and the elephants throw you peanuts. You put mayonnaise on…

I can’t reach my license unless you hold my beer. (OK in Texas) Sorry, Officer, I didn’t realize my radar detector wasn’t plugged in. Aren’t you the guy from the…

Today, 72 million children in the world are denied the chance to go to school. These children could be our next generation’s leaders, sports stars, doctors and teachers. But they…