Kidnappers are not very interested in you. In a hostage situation you are likely to be released first. No one expects you to run–anywhere. People call at 9 pm and…

Operator! Give me the number for 911! Oh, so they have internet on computers now! Bart, with $10,000, we’d be millionaires! We could buy all kinds of useful things like…love!…

When a guy does something wrong…When a girl does something wrong…via

I think part of a best friend’s job should be to immediately clear your computer history if you die. Nothing sucks more than that moment during an argument when you…