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"Bless me Father, for I have sinned. I have been with a loose girl". The priest asks, "Is that you, little Johnny Parisi?" "Yes, Father, it is." "And who was…

Catch phrases Git-R-Done! Lord, I apologize… and be with the starving Pygmies down there in New Guinea. Amen. “I don’t care who you are, that’s funny right there!” (sometimes with…

When I die, I want to die like my grandfather–who died peacefully in his sleep. Not screaming like all the passengers in his car. Advice for the day: If you…

SYMPTOM: Feet cold and wet. FAULT: Glass being held at incorrect angle. ACTION: Rotate glass so that open end points toward ceiling. SYMPTOM: Feet warm and wet. FAULT: Improper bladder…

If you are chocking on an ice cube, simply pour a cup of boiling water down your throat. Presto! The blockage will instantly remove itself. Avoid cutting yourself when slicing…